Its taken longer than I thought it would, and been far far harder than I imagined it would be, but I am almost done. Piece by piece, bit by bit I have thrown away my mother belonging. Its been like crawling though broken glass. Everything has a story, a memory that it insist on telling me. God this hurts so bad. Every single thing I throw away I like a piece of me dying.
If that wasn’t bad enough, I have also been throwing away my brothers stuff. Just like my mothers stuff, everything of his slices through me like a jagged knife. There are three large pieces of furniture left. A couch, a chair and a desk. I sooo want to keep the desk, if I can I will. Mom and I fought over who it belonged to for years.
The couch and the EZ-chair are definitely going to the dump as soon as I can get someone to help me carry them out. My little brother is suppose to help me do that Friday. He really hasn’t been much help so far, but I don’t blame him. There is no sense both of us suffering through this.
Perhaps if my mom and brother hadn’t died so close together this would not have been so painful. But life is what it is, it doesn’t give us what we want. We are just passengers along for the ride, not actually in the drivers seat. This is an amazingly difficult concept to truly grasp, but it is reality.