Do not go gentle into that good night


My Mother passed today. She was 80 years old. She was a Christian. She was the sweetest kindest most gentle soul that I have ever known. I cannot begin to express the sorrow that now fills my soul. I will miss her gentle guidance, and warmth. Her faith in Jesus Christ was the brightest shining light in my life. From her, I learned compassion and mercy. I learned what a true rock of stability in times of tribulation was.

On September 6th 2016, she was admitted into the hospital. She has having trouble breathing. She was initially diagnosed as suffering from a pulmonary edema. Later it was discovered that she had pneumonia. The pneumonia and pulmonary edema resulted in two heart attacks and a stroke. She had Congestive Heart Failure, which she had battled for over 20 years.

In the end, after EGG had determined that she had suffered Brain death, I was left with no choice but to request that the ventilator that was keeping her body alive be switched off. To say that it was the most difficult decision I have ever made, would be a understatement of EPIC proportions.

My mother was my dearest and closest friend. I have spent the last 16 years looking after her. They were the most wonderful and most painful years of my life. The last 8, I have spend basically at her side.

If anyone knows a way to make this easy… Yea… dont bother calling. Yes it hurts. it hurt’s more than I can say or you can know. But I don’t really want that hurt to go away. I want it to be something that I can live with. she was my best friend in the whole world. I don’t ever want to get over losing her, I just want to be able to endure her passing.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Advertisements

30 thoughts on “Do not go gentle into that good night

  1. So sorry to hear about your Mom, Dorian. At my Mom’s funeral, I read from Tennyson’s “Ulysees”. Speaking from experience, life will feel very strange for awhile; you’ll see or hear about something your Mom would have liked, and then it hits you all over again.

  2. Dorian, sending you my sincere and deep condolences. Lovely tribute to your mom and I know how much your heart is still breaking because I lived thru very similar circumstances with my mama……..may our mom’s rest in peace until we see them again. There is no set time limit for grief, so give in to it, cry your eyes out when you need to…..very cleansing. Hold on tight to the happy memories, rest in the knowledge that you honored her thru your care, concern and love. In the bad times just remember to breath. I feel bad that I haven’t checked on you until now, but just know I will lift you and your family up in prayer to the Almighty and may the Holy Spirit bring you respite when you need it the most.

  3. I am so very sorry for your loss
    your mother being a Christian is in a happier place
    right next to Jesus. no pain, no sorrow.
    I do not know you very well .. I stop by randomly
    If you are a believer, you will see your mom again
    in Glory. I am looking fwd to seeing my mom and dad
    again.

  4. I’m sorry, I didn’t know about your mom.

    I’m so sorry.

    I’m praying your heart reaches that place you want it to be in. I’m thankful your mom knew the Lord, as you do. You’ll be reunited, praise God.

    God bless and prayers for you.

  5. I haven’t been by to visit for ages, and just happened to drop in tonight.
    Coincidence? I think not.
    Deepest condolences to you and your family at this difficult time.
    Cherish the memories – you never get over losing your parents.

  6. I’m so sorry but she will always be your mom and she’ll never leave
    your side .
    The day my mom died my husband and I were driving to see her .
    We were in NM on a 50 degree sunny day ( still 2K miles away )
    when we drove into a blinding snow storm that lasted for 5 min. .
    We looked at each other and said ‘ Annie died ‘ .
    Not a minute later the cell and car phones rang to give us the news .
    I don’t think it was rage …..just her way of saying goodbye .
    Now , a few years later , I don’t think I’ll have that rage …….I’m
    too tired .
    My thoughts , prayers and tears are with you .

  7. That is the poem I went to when my father died. My brother wrote me, I didn’t know Dylan Thomas knew Dad, lol.

    My mom passed in 2014 of AD. It was such a slow trickle of loss that there was not much to say at the end. My heart aches for you. I do know that after my mom’s death, in time, I was able to more easily remember her when she was young and vibrant. That was a small but appreciated gift. You and your family are in my prayers.

    I remember when you liked a song I posted a while back, sung by the Irish Rovers, “My mother, she was Orange and my father he was green.” I may just give it a listen today… in your mom’s honor.

  8. So, so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in 1991, to heart trouble. It was totally unexpected. They did an angioplasty on him and sent him home, saying he’d be fine. But he wasn’t. I went with my mom to drive him home, about two hours from Nashvile. We stopped for gas, and he didn’t know where we were. And my dad ALWAYS knew where he was. He died at home the next day. It was pretty hard. I still miss him, but now I think of stuff he used to say, and laugh. He was an old Marine, and he still came out with the damndest stuff, even 50 years after leaving the Corps. My heart goes out to you, but know that it does get better. May the Holy Spirit comfort you and bring you peace.

  9. Thank God this link was reposted by Chaz. What a beautiful tribute to your mom. Our family prayers to you and your family OW. I know your pain and it is deep. Please find solace in the fact that your web family cares for you very much. May peace descend on you.

  10. You have given her a moving tribute, and you were a loyal and devoted child. She will look over you now, and take you into her arms in your own time of leaving. My heart cries with yours, and you are both in my prayers.

  11. Thank God this link was reposted by Chaz. What a beautiful tribute to your mom. Our family prayers to you and your family OW. I know your pain and it is deep. Please find solace in the fact that your web family cares for you very much. May peace descend on you.

  12. …didn’t realize the length of time this was going on…my sister did that…for my mom.I’m hurting for you friend.

  13. I know what you are feeling my friend. My sister and I made the same heart breaking, heart wrenching decision with our mother. My sister has passed. I know. I know

    We may not always see eye to eye. What friends do?

    We have never met in person but you are my brother and because you are my brother my love and sympathies to your mom and to you.

  14. prayers for her and you at liturgy Sunday. we will have the priest pray for her and you during the hours and at the iconstasis.

  15. May your mother Rest In Blissful Peace and may you find
    Peace in knowing your mother is still with you in your heart.
    Love and Hugs and Prayers to you and your family.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s