File this one under: Obama divorce, to goofy to be true.

Yup, you guessed it, it comes from NATIONAL ENQUIRER, which places it barely two steps above the New York Times for truthfulness and reliability. Personally I rate it at 100 percent fictional, which puts it on equal footing with Barack Obama’s qualifications to be President of the United States of American and his fidelity to the United States Constitution and his sworn oath to protect and defend the United States Constitution. What I personally think is the greatest shame regarding this fictional story, is that we will never receive the gratification of, as Lyndon B. Johnson once said, “Hearing him deny it in public”.


Published on: January 14, 2014

WITH a White House cheating scan­dal set to explode, President BARACK OBAMA and his wife MICHELLE are hiding a divorce shocker from America!

Only weeks after Obama publicly humiliated the first lady by snapping a “selfie” with a dishy blonde for­eign leader, the first couple’s shaky 21-year marriage has collapsed following a disastrous holiday trip, sources say.

The two locked horns in a series of ugly fights during their recent Hawaiian getaway, but sources say the death blow came when Michelle learned that the Secret Service has covered up Obama’s cheating – twice.

After a “mole” exposed the presi­dent’s betrayal, a furious Michelle ripped into him during a bitter blow-out and raged: “I want out!”

Then, in a shocking show of de­fiance, she refused to return to Washington, D.C., with Obama and their daughters when their 15-day vacation ended.

“Michelle is so upset over her trou­bled marriage that she didn’t want to leave Hawaii when it was time to go,” a source told The ENQUIRER.

“She said she wasn’t ready to face the ‘fish bowl’ of Washington, D.C., and refused to fly home with Obama and the girls on Air Force One. The president had no choice but to leave Michelle behind in Hawaii.”

Sources say the White House was forced into “damage control spin mode” to explain why Michelle remained holed up at the couple’s luxurious $24,500-a-week ocean­front rental in Oahu.

According to Associated Press: “Mrs. Obama stayed behind to spend time with friends ahead of her up­coming 50th birthday party.”

Another report said that Michelle planned to visit Oprah Winfrey at her estate on Maui.

In any case, Michelle turns 50 on Jan. 17, and her husband is throwing her a gala birthday bash at the White House the following day.


But as The ENQUIRER has re­ported, the two have been at war ever since the president brazenly flirted with Denmark’s leggy blonde female prime minster, Helle Thorning- Schmidt, during the memorial service for South African icon Nelson Mandela. Obama, 52, and the 47-year-old beauty playfully snapped a “selfie” photograph together during the solemn ceremony on Dec. 10 while an obviously incensed Michelle shot daggers at them.

In the wake of the mortifying in­cident, sources said the first couple moved into separate White House bedrooms, and Michelle met with di­vorce attorneys.

The first lady was still reeling from the “selfie” episode when the couple had a showdown in Hawaii over her birthday party, sources say.

“Barack attempted to make up to Michelle by dropping details about the birthday bash while they were in Hawaii,” said the source.

“But Michelle declared flat-out that she wasn’t going to the party. Refer­ring to the Danish prime minister, she snapped at Barack, ‘You could bring that tramp instead!’

“In the end, he convinced her to at­tend – out of duty to the nation. But a reluctant Michelle warned Barack that he’ll be on a tight leash, and if he makes one flirtatious move she’ll embarrass him in front of everyone.”

But the Hawaii trip went from bad to worse when Michelle found out that the Secret Service has been cover­ing up her husband’s unfaithfulness.

“Some of the president’s most loyal supporters were absolutely sickened by his behavior at the Mandela event,” the insider revealed.

“They decided to pass secrets to Mi­chelle while she was in Hawaii, and she picked up some very incriminat­ing information, including the fact that the Secret Service has been cover­ing up the president’s cheating.

“She learned that Barack was caught with a woman in an incident that, in the words of one mole, was ‘hushed up.’ Besides that, a Secret Service agent also saw the president ‘in a com­promising position’ with another woman while Michelle was out of town.”

The news sent Michelle into a rage, and she ripped into Obama in private, said the source.

“Barack told Michelle not to believe the stories,” said the insider. “He insisted that they were ‘all bull.’ But Michelle has had enough and declared, ‘I want out!’

“That’s when she decided that she wasn’t going back to Washington with him.”

Having been branded the biggest liar on earth after his infamous “If you like your healthcare, you can keep it” lie, one cannot honestly proclaim that Barack Obama has been exactly having triumphant banner year. After it turned out the top secret classified documents proved that he had lied about Benghazi, it could fairly honestly be said that even Saddam Hussein’s Information Minister Baghdad Bob possess a more intimate relationship with the truth.

Move on to the Court system slapping him around like a Redheaded Stepchild over things like Net neutrality and the National Security Agency’s collection and storage of metadata from all American phone calls and what appears to be the SCOTUS leaning towards smacking him yet again on his NLRB recess appointments, and well he really just isn’t having much fun.

Then of course, there is the world class EPIC failure of his signature laws web portal, nope, not having a great year at all.

So, his and Michelle getting a divorce, yea, that would pretty much be the icing on the cake. As Lyndon B Johnson once said, “I don’t give a damned if he beats his wife, I just want to hear the bastard deny it in public”.


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