The interpret and fearless investigators of The Wilderness of Mirrors have stumbled upon the scandal of the Century. Having heard of our relentless search for the truth an anonymous (but carefully verified) source deep within the Claus organization contacted us via the most incredibly complex encrypted communications network we have ever seen. A communications network so secure it makes the CIA and the United States Military encrypted communications network seem to be little more than a couple of soup cans connected together by a long piece of string.
Since our anonymous confident is highly placed with the Claus Organization hereafter we will refer to him only as SH1 (Santa’s Helper #1). Not only has SH1 provided us with information which is shocking and disturbing he also provided us with contact information of highly placed individuals throughout the United States Federal Government to verify the veracity of the information he has provided us with.
At this point, you, like our highly skeptical investigators must be asking yourself, “What possible kind of information could anyone within the Claus Organization have to revel that would constitute a scandal worth of being reported on by the Wilderness of Mirrors?” Quite frankly you would be well justified to ask just such a question, as were our investigative journalists. The answer will shock and disturb you.
What SH1 informed us of was… That we had been the victims of one of them most devious and underhanded deceptions and coverups in American history. A deception perpetrated against the American people by the United States Federal Government in collusion with the Fifth Column Treasonous Media that had complete rewritten American history.
A conspiracy that involved multiple bureaucratic arms of the Federal Hydra working in unison to achieve a conspiracy of unprecedented detail and complexity. A plot of deception so convoluted that even the minds of George Noore and Alex Bell recoiled with disbelief when SH1 contacted them with it’s details.
With the help of SH1 and the high level Federal contacts he put us in touch with, this is that tale of intrigue and deception we were able to uncover.
In mid 1964, a shadowy organization began infiltrating the United States Federal Government, it’s powerful influence reaching into congress and even the Whitehouse. This organizations would not be reveled to the American people as even existing until 1970, when in an act of defiance President Richard Nixon forced them out of the shadows, an act of defiance on the part of Nixon that would ultimately lead to his downfall.
The organization in question, none other than the Marxist controlled Environmental Protection Agency.
In 1964, the as yet unnamed EPA exercised for the first time what would become its trademark Iron Fist policy. According to SH1 and others we have communicated with, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer was not invited by Santa to guide his sleigh one foggy Christmas Night, but was in fact forced upon Santa by the very first victim of the still unnamed shadowy EPA.
One of the confidential sources that SH1 put us in contact with to verify the veracity of this story is an anonymous official at the highest level within…. The Federal Aviation Administration.
Getting this official to cooperate with us was extremely difficult, the location of our meeting, heavily gated, highly secure, armed guards and video camera’s everywhere. Yet, just the same, this FAA official believing that it was time that the FAA finally be released from the shame and guilt they bore all these years, agreed to meet with us and collaborate SH1’s testimony.
Since like SH1, our confidential informant inside the FAA is a highly placed official and his anonymity is paramount to avoiding substantial to his life and livelihood, we will refer to him only as TC1 (Traffic Controller #1).
TC1 confirmed to our investigators that yes, the as yet unnamed shadowy organization which would eventually be unmasked by Richard Nixon as the EPA did indeed strong-arm the FAA in 1964 and in an act of heartbreaking humiliation that every FAA official has been forced to live quietly with since, blackmailed the FAA into forcing Santa Claus to add Rudolph to his sleigh crew. No, Rudolph’s flashing red nose isn’t and never was to guide Santa through a foggy Christmas night, Rudolph is and always was intended to be a Navigation and hazard avoidance light. But more importantly, Rudolph was and still to this day, is a GPS tracking system designed to allow the EPA to monitor and track Santa Claus every move.
SH1 had spoken to me very kindly of the FAA officials who placed this odious restriction on Santa, informing me that, having snuck a look at Santa’s “Naughty and Nice” list that he knew for a fact that the FAA officials had been laced in a genuine untenable position by the shadowy Marxist puppet-masters in the yet to be named EPA. Though SH1 did not know exactly what arm twisting leverage the EPA had been able to exercise he assured me that the FAA was not responsible and and put up a heroic, but eventually unsuccessful struggle to resist the EPA.
It was only when speaking with TC1 that the details of exactly what coercive force the EPA had wielded that was able to force the FAA to tag Santa became clear. Under the deceptive and false moniker of environmental protection and with scantly less than a week before Christmas, the EPA had threatened to ground all air traffic over the United States by placing highly restrictive smog emission requirements on all aircraft flying in US air space, a move that would have completely shut down the entire American Commercial Air Travel industry, and a week before Christmas to boot.
For nearly 50 years Santa has kept the FAA’s secret, and the FAA have suffered in quiet dignity. SH1 however could no longer bare watching the sadness in Santa’s eyes as Santa reviewed his “Naughty and Nice” list and came across the names of those FAA officials forced to unwillingly do the EPA’s evil and dastardly bidding. SH1 decided it was time to reveal the truth and restore the FAA’s stolen honor and dignity.
When we contracted another of SH1’s sensitively contacts for a better sense of exactly what had transpired, this is what we were told, once again, because of the highly sensitive nature of his position, we will refer to this individual only by the designation of, CR1 (Congressional Representative #1), the light shed on this conspiracy by CR1 is terrible and frighteningly chilling. That testimony is as follows.
CR1: There are somethings you have to understand, it was 1964, the Bay of Pigs was still fresh in everyone’s mind, the Cuban Missile crisis had nearly resulted in a nuclear Armageddon, Khrushchev had forced the shadowy organization that would one day be exposed by Nixon as the EPA on Kennedy, and of course Kennedy’s assignation was still a raw and bleeding wound. Khrushchev and his loyal minions who were of course the first EPA officials had us literally by the balls.
CR1 continues: Bobby Kennedy tried to expose what had really transpired, and it cost him his life. Richard Nixon attempted to do the same thing and was able to at least force the EPA out of the shadows, but again, at the cost of his presidency. Even the great defender of the republic Saint Ronaldus Maximus played his hand in attempting to restore the honor of the FAA only to be vilified by the utterly corrupt Marxist infiltrated Fifth Column Treasonous Media.
CR1 then pointed us to the Verona Papers where we were able to confirm that Walter Cronkite had been fully briefed by the KGB on the situation and order by his KGB handlers to create and propagate a propaganda narrative with regard to the origins of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. That his successor Dan Rather was fully read into the conspiracy and took an active and aggressive role in distributing “False but True” accounts of Rudolph’s insertion into Santa’s sleigh crew.
The last individual we contacted we will refer to as EPAD1 (Environmental Protection Agency Defector #1) EPAD1 gave perhaps the most chilling account of all.
EPAD1: Yea, it’s true, we did force the FAA to put a GPS Tracing Reindeer on Santa’s sleigh crew. It was our intention to use that Tracking Reindeer to follow Santa back to his workshop, we have plans all drawn up for a all out armed SWAT styled assault on Santa’s Workshop. It was and still is our intention to shut down Santa’s Workshop and force his elves to engage in more productive applications of their manufacturing capabilities. We at the EPA consider it a crime against humanity that Santa’s workshop produces toys for children when they could be producing the weapons which would allow us to finally force our vision of a Marxist Utopia upon the entire world.
EPAD1 continues: We have been tracking Santa for nearly 50 years now, but that old fat bastard somehow manages to always give us the slip up around Canada. We suspect that the FAA is acting in collusion with Santa to keep the exact location of Santa’s workshop concealed from us, but we have never been able to confirm it. We had managed to plant dozens of infiltrating agent’s in the FAA in 1980 but that senile old actor pretending to be a sitting US President went and got crazy and fired them all in 1981. Even our agent at NASA Dr Hansen seems to be running afoul of sabotage from within the ranks at NASA. Were still trying to get the goods on Story Musgrave and Buzz Aldrin, who we believe are responsible for frustrating Dr Hansens work.
Our efforts have not yet yielded the results we desire, but we believe that they will soon enough. Barack Obama has been working with us “under the radar” as it were, to strengthen our position and ferret out those collaborators helping Mr Claus evade us. With his help, my return to the EPA in triumphant glory should be close at hand. My fellow employes at the EPA demanded that I move slower and take a longer term approach to this project, I believe that now is the time to show our hand, we will never have a better chance to end the obstructionism and finally gain the exact location of Santa’s Workshop. They disagreed and said we had worked to long and to hard to risk our plans becoming public knowledge before they bore their fruit, so they forced me out. I know that I will be proven right, and that they will all acknowledge it once we have located Santa’s Workshop and taken it over for our own purposes.
And there you have it folks… The Truth behind Santa’s adoption of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.